Tuesday, 03 November 2009
When I attended the 2008 HCM conference in Clear Lake I had not been officially divorced for long and the entire experience had left a chasm in the very depths of my soul. I was plagued with anger, resentment and bitterness and entertained myriad thoughts on how to execute upon those I perceived as having hurt me – the same type of torment I was experiencing.
It was a miracle that I even made it to that conference because it was not in the budget. Somewhere in asking God to deliver me from my misery I believed it was imperative that I attend. I pressed, pushed and stretched until I was able to make it. The teaching, worship and the introspection that I experienced at that conference was the true beginning of my healing process. All my prayers over the previous months for God to help me came to fruition during that weekend. I could literally feel myself empty my soul and lay my innermost thoughts at the feet of God as I was simultaneously being refilled with a new determination. I was assured that I am still usable and precious to Him.
As we approach the 2010 HCM conference my spirit is already excited about the measure of growth in grace I will experience. My anger, resentment and bitterness have become lessons learned about listening more closely to God. The pain has subsided and God has soothed my soul with His love, mercy and abounding grace. I am waiting, anticipating and praying that God allows me to attend the 2010 Conference & Retreat Experience because I know for it will be a top quality feast of the Word and my soul will again be renewed and touched by the presence of the Holy Spirit.
